Cue Haddaway's infamous 1993 hit - What is Love, here.
So we are, first letter activated, and it is all about love. What is love? How many time's have you been in love? Felt it's butterflies, paired with a warm embrace? How many times have you fallen in love, thinking it was what it wasn't? How many times has it lifted you off the ground, and how many times has it pulled you beneath it?
In my own personal experiences, love was always something delicate and mysterious, something I was chasing after, and I never knew until much later in my life how deeply it had had such an invisible pull on me. I'm positive that this is not a one in a million experience, and that many of you without even having to think too much about it, can jump right in and relate.
The invisible gravitational pull to love and be loved - was always there.
From the very beginning, we are delightfully wrapped in love. From family and friends of, to acquaintances and colleagues, and how interesting is it that it would be this thing that we would need in order to exist peacefully in this other thing called, life. It's funny because you never really know that aspect until much later on, when you are on your own in independence and no longer effortlessly receiving it from everyone around you.
Perhaps this is one of the driving forces that push's us to go and seek it out.
In my twenties I was a mess. I know it and I admit it half heartedly. I had big dreams, and if I may be intimately honest here: part of accomplishing those dreams was to show those who did not love me the way I deserved, that I had made something of myself, without them and their version of it. That I had done something great with the love I had given myself. I think this is where love became complicated for me. That's another story for another time though.
Back to my twenties - I found myself in hot pursuit to be connected deeply to others. To be floating in tenderness. The number of first dates I danced through is unimaginable, and embarrassing. But I was on a mission. I absolutely needed to land extraordinarily on a far away planet called love. How many of you can relate? In support of myself I'll say - when you are growing up in a world with direly limited support, it's what you do. Right? Well it's what I did, for better or for worse.
I recall late night dancing, on balconies over looking the laguna beach surf. Skinny dipping down at the bungalows of Chateau Marmont. Sneaking back stage with only the intention to meet a pop star and then ended up taking shots with her randoms, in their dick costumes. All of these tales (and more) with different possible future loves. Tales I laugh at now and slightly cringe over. Some of the main characters were heart breakers and some whom I actually caused a little crack in their hearts foundation. All part of the journey though.
However, there came a time where it occurred to me why it was exactly I was chasing love. One day the right wave rolled in, and as it caressed my toes, the epiphany washed over me. I felt like there was something missing, in me, myself, and that is where I discovered I had major work to do. There was no way I could continue seeking out love from strangers, when the answer had been secretly riding with me the whole time.
The love we seek - is the love in us.
Take that how you'd like, but love comes first from inside and then, it pulses outward.
I can get into personal frequencies and energy and all that exploding stars emoji-ness, but to keep it simple: you attract what you are, what's inside, and if it's all good in there, you'll receive just that; maybe more. And I believe love works this way too.
So, with each candle I've worked on, I've taken the time to reflect on it's purpose and it's meaning and I feel really good while reflecting back on those tales in limited, quick, spontaneous, chaotic and surprising love. The notes I've chosen to marry together, are notes from the past, that have helped build the road to now. Smells I can never let go of because they are a part of me.
I hope you obviously enjoy my fragrance work, but more, I hope you have your own tales to reflect back on that will help you presently, wherever you are in your journey of love. Please feel free to share one of your own stories below! No matter how raw, real or embarrassing.
I one time fell on my face and busted open my chin from over indulging in tequilla shots. Bad dates will do that to you, so beware. You'd think the date was over after that, it should have been. But it wasn't and that's an entirely different story.
Love is both simple and complex. Some grow up with it unconditionally, while others have to find it. No matter how you slice it, once we understand what love is our own, then what do we do with it? How do we use it to better our children, our parents and our friends? Our lives? I believe that that is the other side of the coin, and it also has both it's simplicities and it's complexities for answers.
What I do know now, deeply, is that love exists in all of us. It is in each of us, and it is only matter of time before we discover it; especially if we are looking. If such love already exists in us, than it is only a matter of time before the inner power arrives that comes from learning how to use it.
If you made it to the end - Thank You. I appreciate your time and energy. I deeply appreciate you joining me here. Please feel free to leave your comments below.
Xoxo
D.
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